Personal Ownership/Parents Transition
Posted By Janet Miller on February 10, 2014
So I have not written in this blog for some time and I apologize. My intent was to do this more regularly but perhaps monthly is a better goal.
A parent forwarded another great transition blog written by Laura Shumaker. What was of interest is that she has a son who is now 20 and comments on the same things. There is a lot of focus on early intervention. We need to create the opportunities for our young adults. This means that we must seek out employers, internships and volunteer opportunities. We must create a stronger circle of resources for our young adults.
The topics are very similar because as we transition our kids we are all consumed with the same concerns. I often say if I could live forever I would not be as worried about my son’s future. I would not care if he lived at home but that is not the case. My focus is getting him employed and into a supported living situation. He is 21 years old this year but our goal continues to be to transition him gradually and by age 25. He is the one that told us 25 and we are trying to follow his lead while gently guiding him.
Connor has been attending a county program since finishing up high school. This is a program that stresses very little academics and has a lot of down time. We decided to have Connor attend as he needed a place where he would be engaged and around others his age. There was also a very structured transportation element that would facilitate independence in taking the bus. We had only hoped to have Connor attend for a year as we worked to figure out other post high school options. He is now in his second year and really thriving. What has happened is Connor has taken complete ownership for this program. He knows on what days he needs to bring lunch and makes his own without any involvement from us. On the days he goes to Safeway he checks with his dad about what he should purchase. Connor will also buy things that he needs like mouthwash or toothpaste. He monitors this on his own. He gets ready in the morning on his own and is always ready when the taxi arrives. We in fact do not need to be home. He is also taking the bus on his own. He is given money at the beginning of the week and has to budget for the week to cover lunches, bus fare and trips to Safeway. I share this as sometimes as parents we walk away from some programs without considering the long term impact. I have actually never visited this class when in session as I knew I would be looking for something else. Connor is almost 21 and he needs to make his own choices and also be responsible for his activities. We have really stepped back and we are the ones who are also transitioning.
Connor has 3 different part time jobs/internships including the Autistry Model Employment Program. He works hard at these jobs and we are hopeful that this will be a foundation for future employment as he has acquired great skills and understands better the work environment. We await word from the Department of Rehabilitation as we hope to transfer Connor to paying jobs. I will blog about that journey. We still have not accessed GGRC but will be soon.
* For more information on Transition and to meet other community leaders, service providers, and parents join us at the Marin Autism Collaborative Annual Meeting, Saturday, March 8th, 9am – Noon at Marin Office of Education, 1111 Las Galinas Ave, San Rafael. There will also be a panel of young adults with autism speaking about their transition and work place experiences.
As we try to spread awareness and acceptance I find that it is much harder to garner support for adults. I do not really understand but seems that perhaps people believe when supporting younger kids there is hope for further growth and success but when reach adulthood then support just means some form of hand out or charity. So our mission becomes to educate the community that our young adolescents have much to contribute and that support for them also means further growth and success.
I am not sure this message is really getting out there. Folks are listening but no one is engaging. We need to reach outside our safe community and engage others who truly would benefit from hiring our adolescents. I need everyone reading this to think of people that own a company or have the ability to hire on some of these adults. There are agencies out there that will partner with these employers. I am challenging you to think of one person or one company where you have a contact. You and others will feel so empowered to have helped. I have helped two agencies make contact with 2 law firms who have successfully placed two adults and I cannot express how much value these very special adults are bringing to these employers.
Several people have recently contacted me to talk about the lack of job training skills that our adolescents may be receiving as right now their full time job may just be to attend school. Also, not many schools integrate internships into the curriculum or as part of the IEP. Truthfully though this should really be part of any transition IEP. We need to create opportunities for our adolescents and we should find a way to get the schools to incorporate this into any IEP. You, however, must take initiative to discover these opportunities. An internship may be more appropriate than homework. A parent recently shared with me that the homework she has for her daughter is specific to life skills. This will ensure that there is continuity with these skills at home and provide better generalization. These skills may be cooking a meal or preparing lunch. If you have an adolescent who is strong academically but lacks basic hygiene or other skills that will allow them to be independent and also keep a job then you may want to consider how to balance this.
Consider transportation needs if your adolescent will not drive. Our son took the bus on his own last week and walked to his job. We had to be very strategic as for the past year as he has been very resistant to doing this on his own. He practiced many times and we are having someone shadow him. He had to be the one to tell us he was ready which I believe to all be part of his own growth. As I often share with others we just cannot get caught up with the time it may take to gain a particular skill as many of our adolescents can take a long time to get there but when they get there they generally retain what they learned. We also worry about how others will react to him in public when he starts talking to himself or pacing or even just looking up all the time. He is very comfortable sharing with others that he has autism and we have talked to him about what he would do if someone reacted to his behavior. He has some responses but most importantly he has a cell phone so he can call us or anyone else that he knows can help him. Some day he will be on his own and we have to face these issues now so he knows how to manage them. Very overwhelming as a parent. I am most motivated by the fact that I want his younger brother to have his own life and choices as he will likely be C guardian some day when we are no longer here. If C is able to live independently and work with support of GGRC this will not fall on my younger son.